Claire – the answer to that one is – because you’ve been sleeping with him for the past 25years, unless of course he’s swopped places with that new female shot putter in your P.E. department.
And as for ‘Coach trip’ , I knew I’d convert you.”Come Dine with Me” is so 2008 .
A riddle : What do you say to an Oxford Graduate……….or what does Lorna answer when Grandmama and I ask her what she’d like for lunch ??…………………Big mac and large fries please.
Yes Lorna and schlepped over to Brigstock today – it only took 120 mins to do a 17mile journey ( bet you’re feeling smug ,all you ‘out of Londoners’ ) cos the whole of Roehampton Lane and Kingston Vale was closed ( not so smug now , you don’t know what we’re talking about ). You’d be proud of us though , cos although we had to stop and Lorna had to make an emergency dash for 2 Costa ** Coffees, we never had to stop for a Loo stop. Well once at Brigstock, Ma broke the news she was waiting for the Doctor to arrive ( yet again- DON’T ask ). 2 hours later and with Lorna and I suffering from malnutrition , I asked her the question”what would you like for lunch”.and she replied the answer to the above riddle. Grandma opted for The Happy Meal , plus a small bottle of brandy from Tesco’s next door to mix with her MacDonalds Cola. We left Grandma trying to work out what to do with her ‘Star Wars light sabre’ that came in 3 pieces .
** Don’t tell Florence
COSTA? Never!
I take full responsibilty for the choice of coffee. After Rachel (‘The Knowledge’) took us down every back street in south west London to avoid the growing traffic jam,it was any port in a storm…it could even have been that waterery foam served at Starb**ks. We were desperate women…sob…but SO much nicer to everyone after that coffee…
I think this kind of use of costa coffee is acceptable as long as you were incredibly rude to them and complained loudly throughout. if you were really committed you left without paying and graffitied the tables