It’s funny ( actually the last thing it is is funny , it is actually odd ) what trauma and fear does to the body .
With me , it manifests itself in fatigue and silence and slowness .The brain helps you to protect yourself .I find interaction with some people very tricky – will they say the wrong thing ? Of course ,never intentionally . but if they do ,I drown a bit more and find it hard to come up for air .
Texts, emails, thoughts, offers of visits, are good .
But please do not be offended if I say ‘no’ , it is normally because I am too weary and my self-protection mechanism has kicked in .There will always be other times, don’t stop asking or offering
But unlike the time just after Rosie died ,I am finding peace in reading and the books I’m finding the easiest to read are those written for the 13year old boy target-market .
So I liked John Boyne’s ‘The Boy at the Top of the Mountain’ and I’m enjoying Patrick Ness’s “A Monster Calls ….but I was completely blown out of the water by Patrick Ness’s ‘The knife of never letting Go’ – it took my breath away , and a bit like ‘The Bridge’ which we watched for the first time this weekend, I just cannot stop thinking about it .