Everytime I go away , come back and log on to Rosie’s website, I see her photos’ and it is like someone has punched me in the stomach. My love for her is so big , there are NO words to describe it and my grief is so overwhelming, it crucifies my heart, body and soul- I love her so much and feel so sorry for her , that her life was taken away from her. Also for John, Jacob and Florence, that she has been taken away from them and they feel as crap as I do. Going away is a huge effort, please do not assume we have moved on / are better/ things have changed. I sometimes feel people feel happier about themselves being happy , if they feel we are happy. Well sadly , we are not happy , but do not resent the fact you are – you still have your complete families , the most precious things in the world. Don’t be fooled , we can all put on a good mask ( not for long though , it is too exhausting ) A holiday is a big distraction , but also a huge reminder that Rosie should be with us.