I feel sorry for the people who want to catch a bus from Putney to Merton

While I have been stalking The Pope ( more about that later), Jacob has been involved in an air/sea rescue mission ( but without the air , and the sea is pretty dubious ). Him and his friend cycled up to Berwick for a film festival. To keep expenditure to a minimum, they camped on the beach ,away from the road and over the sand dunes. On the last night , Jacob’s friend got really ill and was doubled, tripled , quadrupled up in pain, so they called an ambulance .To get to the road , Jacob had to carry his friend in his arms. Once in the ambulance and the paramedics had come round after inhaling 3 days worth of unwashed and slept- in clothes,and Jacob had managed to persuade them they hadn’t eaten any magic mushrooms,his friend was admitted to hospital and given morphine – while the ambulance man rushed out to buy a can of Glade..I’ll keep you informed.

Meanwhile back in West London, I have been so near yet so far from Benedict. Yesterday as Lorna and I drove past Wimbledon Common, we couldn’t fail to notice thousands of police,CCTV cameras, bus stops covered over and taken out of action ,TV cameras up lamp-posts, wombles wearing nuns habits etc etc. My first thought was that Jules and Jamie had had their 4th child in Parkside Hospital, and were about to emerge for George Michael to chauffeur them home .But I was wrong , it’s because Pope Benedict is residing in the Apostolic Nunicature ,while he stays in London. Then today I met 2 friends for coffee in Bushy Park , which is right next to , yes you’ve guessed it -St.Mary’s College, Strawberry Hill. How many helicopters does it take to track a little white van?

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