I think the helicopter was a fantasy of mine

Didn’t sleep too well a) cos I was pissed off that Jenna went instead of Stephen .He was so dam rude and superior and rude in the boardroom ( if you don’t watch The Apprentice ,you won’t have a clue who I’m talking about ) and b) I’m all excited about my mini-day break , and then my actual mini-break . Today I’m off on the train -I love trains – to meet up with ex St Oswalds Roaders and big friends of Jane and Grandmas ,Elaine and Natalie, in Salisbury . No doubt the infamous 1980 Hastings holiday will be discussed when Jane ,Elaine ,Natalie ( aged about a year ) and I stayed in a bungalow . Day 1 we went to a remote sandy beach , thinking it was great no-one was on it . Even with my big biceps ,there was no way I could wheel Jane onto the sand ,so down trotted E&N . They walked …and waved , and waved ,and Elaine frantically waved . We smiled and waved back and wondered why Elaine , who was holding Natalie by now, had shrunk 9″- until we realised they were on sinking sand ….So I abandoned Jane ( to a big dog who was growling round very near ) , and I think it was the nearest I’ve come to actual running , got to them , forgot all my survival special programmes , and instead of throwing myself down and crawling to them , ran onto the sand and sank too . By this time Natalie was in my arms , and Elaine ,who was a professional dancer and half the weight of me , waded out and I passed Natalie to her . It wasn’t long before the land-sea helicopter arrived .

Then tomorrow I’m off on another great journey ..to Scarborough , where I’m meeting up with Declan , and we too will be reliving our 1980 trip to his home town ( no sinking sand stories, but I did get so drunk I ended up in bed between his dad and step-mum ) .

Meanwhile John and Andrew prepare for their big cycling trip to Paris . As I type John is digging out his lycra and looking for the best energy producing flapjack he ( i.e. -me …he even asked Jacob ) can make.

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