Whatever ‘normal’ is ,often I just don’t feel it . So I looked it up in Jacob’s 1998 Collins Gem Dictionary and this is how it is described ” usual,regular,or typical,free from mental or physical disorder”. That confirms my suspicions. Sadly I often feel anxious,fearful, a failure and sad .But that also means at other times I feel secure, safe and happy. So sometimes when I read stuff written by another bereaved parent ,I feel more normal . I read the blog of Linda , her young son ,like Rosie ,died very suddenly .I have mentioned her before ,as through an article in The Guardian written about her , I made contact and put her in touch with The Sandrose Project – her family are holidaying there later in the year. Yesterday she wrote “After my son died ,I struggled with anxiety, it had real physical pain and symptoms associated with it. I think I do now have control over it – most of the time anyway “…. I feel like that too.
Believe me it is not easy to write this stuff down, but it makes some sort of order of all the sadness in my brain ..and keeps you looking at photos of Rosie.