Yesterday I bumped into someone I vaguely knew ,but hadn’t spoken to since Rosie died .She gave me a hug and told me ,she didn’t know what to say …..Then later that day I was reading an article by the American writer,Toni Morrison.Her latest book is dedicated to her son,Slade ,who died 18 months ago and in the face of whose death she found herself wordless.She could not work ,she could barely speak and didn’t want to hear comforting words from others .She writes “What do you say ? There really are no words for that. There really aren’t. Somebody tries to say I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. people say that to me. There’s no language for it .Sorry doesn’t do it. I think you should just hug people and mop their floor or something” and she goes on “I don’t want closure, it’s such an American thing. I want what I got – memory,and work ….and some more ibuprofen.”…and she starts to laugh .