John’s seen it before in Glasgow

We’ve just had the potato Olympics at work . All students in post 16 classes were given a potato and had to personalise it .In our class we had Darth Vader potato Spiderpotatoman, ballerina potato ( paint it pink and put a white scrunchy round her waist ) , to name but a few . We then took our potatoes on the field and the competitive events took place .Each class could choose their 3 best potatoes to compete in 1) The long jump – roll your potato down a slide and see how far it goes 2.The diving – stand on a tyre and throw your ( heaviest ) 3 potatoes into a bucket of water – how many cm’s of water has gone down . 3.The trampolining – bounce your potato off a physio ball and see how far it goes ( few near misses here – they go pretty high ) 4. The Shot-put , with the whole class holding the parachute ,place your potato in the middle and then lob it into the playground ( huge design fault here as the parachute had a hole in the middle and so potato ends up on floor ,so you have to distract the adjudicator and lob it as far as you can )). I would like to add there was no cheating in any event ( ? ?) and no potatoes were harmed in the making of these games ( we were told that if there were any fatalities ,we had to put black armbands on our surviving potatoes ). Then we had the medal-giving-out-ceremony .With 1st,2nd and 3rd standing on the podium ( made of duplo ) we sang their national anthems . In fact they all had the Zimbabwe one ,as it’s the only anthem ,one of our students can sing .Still, no-one noticed.

Then stumbled out of work , all hot and sweaty , to find the main road empty of traffic , people lining the streets, the Conservative club having a BBQ and the Catholic church offering free coffee . For a minute ,I thought it was because Nicole ( she was in fact ‘Moulin Rouge’ themed , but none of us could remember the name of the character )Potato had won most points .But no it’s because the Olympic torch is coming our way …so john and I are just off to see it.