A friend of mine, another bereavement parent, who sees a therapist , told me her therapist calls those times when the rug is taken from under our feet , as a ‘mind the gap ‘ moment.You never know when it’s going to hit you – it can be anything , a smell, a word, a song , a sight, a place, a taste etc . Somedays they happen a lot ,other days, hardly at all .But they all take me straight into a place with Rosie in my head, heart and soul. A place where I sink into my own thoughts and so want to run away from the place I am actually in . Of course I cannot do this , so I contain my emotions , my head goes slightly crazy and I try and act as ‘normal’ as is possible. I believe this is one of the reasons why grief is so tiring – Not only do you yearn for your loved one, but you are often thrown into a very sad and disturbing place, without any warning. There is no formula as to what or when or how these MTG moments will hit me .This afternoon at work I experienced a massive one.
This week ,at the end of everyday,the whole school are meeting in the hall to celebrate ‘Music Week’. It is lovely – a really positive , happy atmosphere, anticipating and then enjoying some staff or students performing some live music.Today a teacher was playing 2 numbers on the piano. His first piece was ‘Circle of Life’.-needs no explanation. His second was ‘ Send in the Clowns’- which was one of Jane’s all time favourites- and between us , we used to murder.