Five years without touching,looking,hearing,smelling,laughing with ,listening to , clearing up after ,getting exasperated with , cuddling,kissing ,talking to,watching or holding Rosie.
How unbearable is that ?
Has it gone quickly ,has it gone slowly ? I can’t tell you .One of the things that has changed in my life ,is my concept of time- it is shot to pieces .I think probably it is because as long as us four are safe ,nothing else really matters.
I am probably hyper-sensitive but there have been a few odd things about today :-
It is the 25th anniversary of the Lockerbie bombing. I never realised it was on the 21st December . My heart goes out to those people .
Tony Blackburn’s ‘Pick of the Pops ‘ was this week 1989
The Guardian’s ‘ What I’m really thinking’ started “I’m an actor, I have Anchondroplasia” ( that’s about Jane, not Rosie- but I hope they are together somewhere )
The Guardian’s ‘A letter to’ ended “I cry every day screaming at the fields ; oh my darling why ? I love you so much. We miss you so much .Rest in peace, my brave ,bright ,beautiful son …Dad”
Florence pointed out an exhibition at the Foundling Museum where four contemporary photographers explore the theme of loss in the relationship between mother and child.
There the odd things end.
I send a huge heartfelt thank-you to everyone who sent flowers, cards ,spanokopita, texts ,gifts and donations to Rosie’s charity .
And a special thank-you to Bert for keeping this thing going and choosing the most beautiful ,and at times unexpected photographs and another thank-you to all those people who have supported and stuck with us throughout the last year , especially at times when others silence has been deafening.