..and I’ve been to ‘Ealing Boards and Timbers’- the staff there are even more miserable than me !

Some days something gets stuck in my head and I just can’t budge it .Today it’s The Hanwell Carnival – all I can see is Rosie ,back in ( around ) 1995 ,dressed as Marilyn Monroe , striding down the Boston Manor Road , holding her placard and beaming . It’s driving me crazy – I want to reach out and touch her, hold her , kiss her .But I can’t .

We spent last night with some dear friends , I have had breakfast ( through tears ) with a close friend – one that lets me cry ,talks about Rosie , and never stops telling me it is unfair and continually shows unbounded compassion, protection ,love and allows me to take my mask off. Isis today,Theatre tonight – so I’m not exactly lying facedown in a vat of self-pity, so why is it all so hard ?

Then tomorrow it’s Father’s day – another tricky one .

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