I braved Waitrose this today, something I would normally avoid doing on a Saturday .
But ……. it was the morning , I was driving past and I knew if I spent ten quid ,I’d get a free paper and so it just had to be done .
It probably took me 10 minutes longer than anyone else doing the same 5 item shop , as I had to skirt the cheese counter a few times , and then I bumped into an old colleague , Sue . I must have bumped into her about seven times since Rosie died and she always mentions her . Not in a mawkish way ,but in a kind remembering sort of way . Anyway ,this morning she told me that on March 18th ,her boss’s 22 year old son died suddenly . Sue was very fond of this young man , she used to babysit for him and had known him all his life . She then went on to talk about pain and grief …..my pain , my grief , her boss’s pain ,her boss’s grief , her pain , her grief , and it was interesting what she said ( and apologies for explaining this badly ) , but in the days after this young man died , she thought about him every ten seconds while his Mother probably thought about him every second . now 2 weeks on ,she thinks about him about 10 times a day whereas his Mother probably thinks about him every other second . That pain just does not go .
I’ve said the before , when people acknowledge my pain and my grief , in a sensitive ,relevant way I feel I can be myself with them . It is part of me , it lives with me and I think ,makes me a bit calmer ( except at airports )