Oh my God, what a day. Lorna deserves a medal for sticking by me. It was the day of Grandmama’s eye ( lets admit her to a ward as we don’t have a standing hoist in theatre and no nurse , porter or any member of staff in the entire Mayday hospital will help you lift her onto the highish chair to do the proceedure ) surgery. The only person on my side about this was the admissions officer , who agreed with me ,it was a total waste of a bed. So….Carry on Nurses, Rachel and Lorna did all the lifting , toileting , manouvering etc ( Just for Joan – NOT all the other patients ). As we were waiting in our squished day surgery cubicle, we were doing our usual , chatting , guessing what everyone else is in for , talking about how hungry we were etc..when the nurse came over and sent the 3 of us to ‘the naughty room’ ( a small private room at the end of the ward ) , and shut the door . Obviously we were pissing everyone off we our general merriment and frivolity. But , the good news was , we got to crack open the picnic !

All was going swimmingly, We escorted Ma to theatre and as she didnt want me to leave her side , I was gowned and hatted up and asked to sit next to her in theatre , holding her hand while Anthony, her sweet surgeon ,removed the cataract while listening to his native Maltese folk music. Unfortunately, in the medical terminology of Anthony ”its a rock , not a cataract” meant the op went on..and on..and on…. I got hotter and hotter and then my grief and sadness completely engulfed me and I uttered the words that every surgeon wants to hear ”I think I’m going to faint ”. The staff were wonderful , Graham, the theatre technicion and Miss Richardson , the consultant took me out , gave me a cup water ( i think they would have preffered the bucket over the head technique ) and I poured out all my thoughts and love for Rosie. We were all in tears. Meanwhile , the staff in theatre were brill, didn’t tell Ma what had happened to me and a male nurse slipped his hand into Ma’s. When she came out the first words Ma said were ”where did you go , i know it wasn’t you holding my hand , it was a man with a ring on and i know you never wear rings . You didn’t faint did you ? ” So please mums the word .

Appendix 1: I have only fainted once in my lif in April 1975 , when I stood on the terraces at aBristol City v Fulham football match. Yhe sun was beating down on me and i was wearing a black polo neck and black jeans- i was carted off to St Johns Ambulance station

Appendix 2: My mobile phone is still out of action , so please email or write on my bloggy thing – ta.

2 Replies to “E.R.”

  1. What a day! Sounds like the staff were really good though. Mum and Dad were v impressed with the ATS show tonight, im even more excited for Sat… if you go tomorrow dont give away too much on the blog, no spoilers please!! xxx

  2. Are you sure it wasn’t Fulham v Birmingham City 1-1 FA cup Semi Final? I could pretend that I knew that but I googled it…I had to take a break from making cards as the glue is a bit strong……..

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