I’ve discovered it is more like 54 years of stuff I am going through .
The earliest thing I found was a photo of me in the garden of number 53 with Auntie Betty , who was our next door neighbour , but when I was a kid we called all my Mum’s friends’ Auntie .I’ve found school reports ( talks too much , could do better etc ) , about a thousand signed scraps of paper from David Essex , beer mats form Sheffield , letters from John , cards from friends ,Jane’s blue badge ,Grandma’s hearing aids etc …..
and then all the children’s letters,cards and notes .I am so glad I kept them all .But it has been much harder than I had anticipated reading them . Their individual personalities come though so dam strongly from their writing and drawings .It quite takes my breath away .It is almost like having a series of mini-panic attacks .I go all hot and sweaty and teary and dithery and happy and sad . It is as if my heart has been broken all over again .It is as if they are there with me .I relive the very moment I got it .It really is multi-sensory overload .It is just fantastic that Jacob and Florence are doing such wonderful stuff in beatuiful cities and have lovely friends ,but so wrong that Rosie was deprived of all that .I miss her so very much.
So in between all this I’ve got out – I just had to .I never thought I’d say this but for once I found natural forms usurped by man-made stuff .Yesterday we went to see the Orchid Display at Kew ,and to be honest ,I found it a bit gaudy ,a bit messy and a bit naff .Whereas on saturday I went to William Morris’s House and Museum in Walthamstow ,and I found his drawings ,sketches and prints ,breathtakingly beautiful .