” My son died.Today it’s been a whole year and I can’t think of three sadder words” James Ashton 9.12.13.

Thank you for all your lovely texts and Sally, for the most wonderful bouquet of flowers .They are on our hall table in front of Chris Steven’s portrait of Rosie.

Yesterday was harder than I imagined .I think it was because the four of us were separated .Last year I felt more secure knowing Jacob and Florence ( and some of Rosies’ friends) were together .

But I’m sure the other three, like me, just dug deep and tried to do nice stuff .We all raised our glasses to Rosie at 5pm ..so in Amsterdam,Glasgow and Ealing there were beads of positive energy sent out to her . We all love and miss her so very much.( an understatement ,but can’t think of stronger words )

From work ,I shot up to The Isis , to see it in daylight . I forgot my camera , sat with Rosie and did the crossword ( I do as much as I can and John finishes it ) , lost the crossword , got the wrong train home, read an article in The Evening Standard ,by a writer whose son ,Oscar ,died a year ago to the day, realised half way through the article I know Oscar’s Mum ,Viveka ( we are both part of TCF walking group ) and how we have discussed the fact Oscar died on Rosie’s Birthday and we were ‘Sisters in Sh*tdom’ , then got the right train , went into Sainsburys to buy the spuds for our dinner, got home and realised I’d forgotten to buy the potatoes.

My head was all over the place , I felt so unsettled

Three Italians got rice instead
Thank God for Zumba ,Gareth and the thought of ‘Fresh Meat’ saved for tomorrow night

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